English
Hendre Coetzee presents two essential factors for the transformation process in coaching that are: participation and responsibility. It does not matter how much effort a person says to dedicate to his life and his plans, if he does not understand that participation and responsibility are factors that depend exclusively on them.
Participating means ‘taking your part in action’. It means that in everything we experience in life, there is a part that corresponds to me. I must assume it so that my part guarantees the action and the accomplishment of the planned one. It does not mean to assume the ‘fault’ for things to have happened bad or, further, to determine that it is only up to me that everything happens.
It means that in everything in life there are the internal and external factors that determine the situations in which we are. If we decide not to participate in our own lives, we are saying that ‘external factors’ can determine everything in its own way and that we will be there only as a co-adjutant .
Make no mistake: not participating can have unintended consequences.
We often look at ourselves and do not even realize that we are not participating. We come to see when we have to accept something we really do not want and we are led to realize that things are that way because we leave the omission, difficulties, fears to take care of us.
People are too worn out by the adversities of life, and they become expectant of themselves. They decide to look at time passing by and wait for something to happen to ‘clean the past’ and be able to start over. Factually, what they do not realize is that by deciding to ‘park’ for fear of reliving pain or taking risks, they are creating a vicious cycle of unintended impacts. And causing an ever deeper degree of externally determined actions.
The factors that keep us from participating are related to our internal conversations, as Coetzee introduces us.By its definition, internal conversations are the barriers that people have in their lives that keep them from participating and, consequently, getting where they want and want. It’s what keeps them away from the potential they have.
As coaches, it is important to know what types of internal conversations prevent
people from realizing their potential for success and excellence in all aspects of life. The internal conversations can be positive, of course. And when they are, they play a highly empowering role for personal and professional growth and transformation. Nonetheless, it is more common – especially in early coaching processes – to find people who hold highly negative internal conversations. Those that convince them not to go forward.
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* Text posted on my old blog on 12/18/2014.
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